We Belong to Earth, far a away in this Universe

3/16/2025

So I started playing the original Rome1. Surprisingly, it's running well. I started a game as Brutii.

A little context: Throughout the 2010s my only exposure to TW was Napoleon:TW and Shogun2+FOTS. I had Empire, but seldom played it back then. So I missed out on a whole era of TWgaming around 2014.

Never touched Rome2 until 2024. The earliest I played was Med2 in 2014 and not for long. More on those in a bit.

Around May 2024 I began playing Songs of Syx after a certain meme youtube review did a raving cover on it.

I was hooked. It was fun. I played 1 .65 game and a .66 game after.

It was a blast but it hit the EA ceiling. The hype was rapidly declining and by the time I cheesed the thankfully OP empire armies I was wiped. I wanted something complete and full to experience the map painting Roma victor feeling.

So I bought and installed Rome2. My first and only playthrough was DEI, so I was l learning two games at once with all the extra mechanics.

I enjoyed my time with Rome2, for the most part. But I felt I played all there was the game and DEI could offer.

Attila I played WRE and stopped outside Antolia in a agonizing war of grinding with the Easter factions. It was fatigue.

So I decided: I'll pay MTW2 a real visit. I did one vanilla as France and then two more with stainless Steel as France and ERE.

It was playing the ERE playthrough did it occur to me not to focus on infantry for field battles. So I started experimenting with... essentially flipping my inf:cav ratio. Three or four inf, a few archers and the rest cav.

By that point of the Stainless Steel ERE playthrough I reclaimed all of Italy and ERE's Asian territories, minus Anatolia and everything south and east of Syria. I finally learned how to face the Eastern factions; it was simply more a chore to fight them to bother. Most of the time I recall they invaded and I gave them money to go away.

Going backwards in TW gaming felt ... odd because of the concept with rotating units in and non-stapled armies. MTW2 was the most soul CA ever produced but it also had lots of jank and boy howdy did it crash.

I took a break from tw after that ERE game. I only started playing Rome1 (the original not remake) a few days ago and... it's... therpatic after CrossCode. I was having a damn. And Rome1 just felt so much more stable and less jank but missing that soulful passion MTW2 had.

Wow. it was like a completely different game. What happened between Rome1 and MTW2? It could just be steam voodoo magic with Rome1. MTW2 being worse to play just baffles me.

Though I still get crashes if a session goes long enough. In MTW2 I ctrl+s so much as I breath. I only stopped the ERE game(either my desire to push into HRE or fight the East) because it literally just nonstop crashed so many turns in. I won.

So far with R1 I don't need to relaunch as often. I also can't tab out of it without it getting locked. I use dual monitors so if by unlucky chance my mouse clicks out of the box (Widescreen being on namely fixed this) the game locks up and I can't even access task manager to terminate it.

So anyway the fascination with Rome1. With the epiphanyI was playing the game wrong with inf/cav ratio I've been on a powertrip bulldozing the poor greeks. Rome2 I focused on Carthage, so I wanted to just fight Greeks instead for a chance. Man, compared to Rome1, Rome2 DEI as Rome was a slugfest with Carthage. After that it became a breeze: but it never occurred to me to mass cavalry like now.

And that's just with equite!

This is how far my game has gone.

The current drawing of lines of Southern Greece could pose a threat once civil war triggers. Not seen but I believe I did take Thessekolna or in the process of sieging it. Roman ally Coringth has a small fort overhead which I use as aggressive bait to perhaps have Scipii break this cold war.

I don't believe they're actively at war with each other. Occasionally I force two diplomats to chat out a peace but the Greeks aren't fond of me. Neither are the Germs. Or the Macedons.

The Germs took Seggs eventually but I didn't particularly care for the settlement. I'm conceding it to Julii whenever they stop being lazy and push. Or maybe I'm the fast one. Carthage wasn't facerolled yet.

The Germns tried to push south but I was wise to locate one of my field armies to them. They're no threat.

But of course a absent army in my capital may come to bite me in the ass later. I've been trying in vain to make Spartan and Rhodes come to a status quo peace, so I can focus on the rest of Greece and keep a field army and siege army(these I usually just all inf and a few cav) in Italy.

I may put off continuing for a while. It's therpatic and all but I don't want it to become a chore to play when I'm already this close to snowballing. If I do progress, it'd probably be to deal with getting my booty clapped in Italy. This was much needed medicine after Cross Code.

It's kind of funny in a way. It's like a puzzle just strategizing next moves on the world map and in the thick of it in battles. I've had a few nail biting moments where I could only hope to flip a valiant defeat into a total army route.

Boy was this one an intense close one. I had only two equities and squnadered one of them. That captain must've been proud. I was proud of my little digital imaginary captain!

Sieges... MTW2 taught me to use spies incredibly liberally. I open gate, I click autoresolve.

Otherwises this happens and it's not fun.

I've been writing on the outline and more or less have made enough progress I'm happy with.

Last blog I mentioned Gundam CCA. I feel like it was the one thing powering me through the weekend because this is the last time they're showing it; I missed the screening they had on Wedsneday so I have no idea what the attendance looked like for the first screening.

I would keep checking to see if any seats were claimed leading up to when I got my ticket at the kioisk. Not a single soul. I was the only one. Oh well. No biggie. I only wish I could've spent it watching with my bf (which I will in VR after we get through Z/ZZ)

I gotta say. I first watched CCA in 2013. I watched it right after I finished ZZ at the time and vaguely remember not liking it: too fast paced plot and deep mumbo jumbo philopsoly. I was 16 then so I wasn't able to comprehend most of it. I rated it a 7 on MAL but I've bumped it arbitartily to 9.

Since I haven't rewatched Z/ZZ yet and its been a full 12 years of scattered fragments of plot beats from those two TV series was a subtle whiplash... thoughbet recently rewatching the 0079 movies a few weeks ago was a nice jog for this.

I watched The Origin when it was still in its OVA cycle so watching CCA years af ter that felt like a nice interwoven bowtie since even the Zeon family plotline felt so mysterious and mystique even in the movies—I enjoyed Origin so this felt like a nice treat.

CCA was a spectacle to rewatch in the movie theater. It's going to be fascinating rewatcching CCA with him once we get there.

One thing I thought oddly striking was my theater showed CCA twice. Quunex, which I largely ignored, did sound interesting (we are also watching that next season) but it only showed the 28th.

What the hell? The movie is the first three episodes stitched together anyway but this oddity coupled with the fact Quneex had a physical poster but CCA didn't. Bizarre. LoTGh's new translation did/does this too; so did one of the Yuuki Yuuna prequels.

I'm really strongly debating showing him Origin. Maybe I'll show him after CCA. Unicon? I don't know—but showing him F91 and Victory Gundam could be great to revisit. Then G-Reco and Turn a Gundam.

That's the idea anyway. Still many more anime series to watch.

So next season I know for sure we're watching Lazarus and Kowloon Generic Romance. And Wind Breaker season 2.

Do Sudowoodos Suffer from Imposter Syndrome?

3/14/2025

CrossCode has been Crossed out. Sigh. I can stretch like a lazy cat and focus on other things now.

These last two weeks had good days and bad days. Every so often I would think to myself, 'I need to get out a new blog post before my escapades evade my mind palace. There's only so much I can retain before I need to spill it out.'

But frankly, I'm not a totally interesting person, haha. I had some interesting experiences at work, though, more of that later.

For now, the conclusion of my thoughts on the bane of my existence: Cross Code.

To be frank, I mostly spent my energy playing the rest of CrossCode since.

Right after the last blog entry I reached a point where I wanted to be done with the game. That was def somewhere in the ball park of the last 3 dungeons in chapter 8. Chapter 9 to the end of the game was an unnecessary slog.

I hate to admit it but it honestly was. Cross Code was a game that did everything right and then some. Not to sound like a broken record but I loved the story, the characters, the twists. The combat and so on. It made me feel nostalgic playing MMORPGs and I cared for these characters. It was a gripping story.

I teared up at the end of the main story. It was good. Was it enough to overlook the puzzles I was forced to contend with? I can't say for sure.

All I do know is I never, ever want to look at another puzzle in my life ever again.

I think CrossCode both sucked the joy of puzzles and made me realize I hated them. This game truly takes the throne for puzzle PTSD simulator straight out of the decrepit old hands of Shantae. Just remembering Shantae now still gives me Vietnam flashbacks.

And just like Shantae, CrossCode gives me the two-thousand yard stare when I think of puzzles.

Boy you could say that for a lot of these puzzles.

These developers have a definite passion for puzzles, and as far as I'm concerned they were only a two-man team (other than art and music).

This game was in EA from 2017 to I think 2018, and it just boggles my mind. Did they not listen to player feedback at all with puzzles? Surely at some point alpha/beta testers might've complained or pointed out these puzzles are way too damn hard.

This was a complaint I see highlighted in Steam reviews for the game. The devs might've enjoyed and had fun but it seems they failed to see how players would've enjoyed these.

They say this game is an underrated hidden gem. The way I see it now, it's exactly because of these puzzles that this game remains a forgotten hidden gem. Ask anyone who played and no doubt they wince at remembering the puzzles.

That was until I forced myself to play the DLC story. I played it right after finishing it just a few days ago. I felt I was going to regret this: I read in reviews for the DLC it retcons the story or some effect of that nature. Some people continued to feel annoyed by the puzzles or the apparent assassination on certain characters or twists.

But as I progressed through the DLC, I actually enjoyed it. Whatever happened between 7 years ago and when the DLC released to make a difference, I don't know. I enjoyed the puzzles in it for once. Most of them, anyway. I seldom needed to bring up a guide to figure out the DLC ones.

I think the only puzzles I did enjoy in the main game were the ones where shock/wave were required because they felt the most straightforward and didn't need a PhD to do. There were plenty of them in the DLC because it had an interesting gimmick: a ball you had to put through obstacles.

YES!

It was a plentiful fun. I took a lot of screencaps of my playthrough and I haven't decided how to put them in this blog post just yet. I may just sprinkle them in post-editing because I'm using an online markdown HTML and I can't seem to figure out how to put the images in this properly. Did I ever mention that writing it in plain text and then converting it to HTML is a load of pain? This speeds it up so much faster.

Anyway, moving on.

The only time in the whole game I needed to tone down the combat difficulty was, I think for sure, the last dungeon boss or one of the mini bosses. I know I took a screencap of him so I'll edit in post-editing. He was a tough motherfucker. A lot of these enemies just weren't fun to fight and I was underleveled until the DLC when you get Ascenion Gear. Then it was a cakewalk.

This guy onward I think I started toning it down. It just wasn't fun anymore(at least until I got to the DLC).

I guess that's another issue I had with the game. There's too many optional food and gear you can get but they're more a pain in the ass to get. I didn't 100% the game. I loved this game but I'm never replaying it ever again, not with these puzzles. I think you can just skip the dungeons on NG+ and powergaming through it does sound fun, with new dialogue and all.

Maybe another day.

So that brings me to the DLC story: did it redeem the game? Was the ending good?

I like to think it did. I'm surprised there are people who disliked it. I loved it. If CrossCode was like this I would've loved it a lot more.

The ending hinting at New Horizons hurt. I would've been all for it. But it's clear this was just teasing at MMORPGs in general. It's sprinkled here and there in overworld npc dialogue. It was too obvious. And for a real-world sequel to CC it was too good to be true.

If the dev's new game Alablaster Dawn is anything like the DLC dungeon puzzles I would maybe give it another try one day. But I also never want to see another puzzle so long as I live.

So moving on. The music slaps hard (when I paused Weird Al to listen to the emotional cutscenes and whatnot).

I love the music but after a while you tune it out because you just hear it on loop and for the tedious moments of killing and striking fear into helpless mooks it got old. So I'd listen to Records of Lodoss War and Weird Al to spice it up a little.

Man, they sure did kill it with the music when it mattered though.

All the time I could only wonder: how can I make this a blog entry without it just being a let's play or a review of CrossCode? As it turns out, it was largely unavoidable. But this is the last of CC posting.

Despite everything I said. It was a solid game. Probably the best indie game out there since. I really will miss its world. Post series depression is always the worse.

What's next, I wonder?

Right after the last blog entry. I finally uploaded almost all the creative fictions I had on file. That's out of the way now at least. I emphasise it a lot in each fiction description but most are missing italics because I was hand converting them without a markdown converter.

I am unsure if I will try and attempt to recify this now that I have a cheatsheet lazy markdown convert like how I'm making this blog entry. I was scoping around other neocities blogs and some I noticed have linked to HTML pages directly of their works. It remains to be seen if I will copy that method because it would be easier.

I think for the most part that's it for site updates for now. I still toy with the idea of the Windows XP site layout. But that'd be a lot of busywork and for a much later time. I may not even go through with it after all.

On future writing: I haven't been able to write too much because I was focusing on CrossCode for the most part. I was unable to write the rough draft outline at work because management put up new notices if you're caught with your phone out then you get disciplinary action.

So far, and despite my secluded location in the store, I abide by it. I can't afford to get in trouble and for what it's worth it's just to scare us. I doubt they would actually take any action. But I won't tempt luck.

I more or less have a finalized vision for the ending of A Game of Cosmic Titans. I have the path to it paved and now I just need to blaze my way through to it and then I can start writing on the paused rough draft wholesale. I'm trying to piece together the whole Newtype and Mobile Trooper concept into it, but I think it will all work out nicely.

In the Afterword for Volume 2 of Saga of the Cosmic Heroes, I alluded to wanting to write a fantasy novella. The idea behind it was a skeleton gets resurrected and follows around a elf. That's the barebones version of it.

I've been toiling away in the mind palace what the conflict would be, what the ending would be, etc. I think I have some grasp now but nothing solid. I did actually write a very short chapter piece on it before I gave up. I wanted to put it up on the workshop but alas, I can't remember where I stored it.

Back then I had it tentatively titled as Everyone Loves Mr Skeleton. But recently, I was comfortable with the title Great Elf SHIKI. I was getting pretty damn inspired by listening to the Record of Lodoss War soundtrack. I have a solid villain, their motives, and I think the ending. But the middle journey part is something I have to dwell on still.

Another title I want to expand on was Psycho;Writer. I wrote myself into a corner with the vague ending but never intended to follow through with it. It's exactly what it is; a oneshot concept. Contemtpoary dark fantasy horror is something I feel I would maybe excel in. Or maybe not. I can't just do sci-fi space opera forever.

I've been toying with the idea of making Azra from it the villain for Great Elf SHIKI. Linked,but not linked. How does that work out? Well, it's not particularly important right now. Maybe they're just really bored death gods, it's a mystery.

Neither of these are in the outline phase so far. Right now, I'm wanting to focus full-time on finishing AGCT. I think I will finish the rough draft outline and take a jab at writing a bit of Flashpoint Zeta which is also still in the planning phase.

So much to do much little time it feels. My sleeping schedule is screwed on my days off—I usually wake up around 12pm to 2pm. Blegh! First world problems am I right? It can be deathly demotivating getting out of bed.

So, that's the wrapup of CC and my writing. Anime? Me and my BF finished up 08th MS team and I'm going to show him 0083 next—then the Zeta compilation films and the ZZ TV series.

Well a little pause here. I got suggested by anon on my guestbook to show him Witch from Mercury. And ... to be honest ... I can't bring myself to watch it again, let alone with him. I watched the first season with my best friend when it was airing and it's ... kind of weird to say it here, to express it like this but I felt like I was involuntarily self inserting as Suletta.

Often I feel like I have a guilt complex and codependency issues. So at times I half jokingly would tell my best friend this is like a bulleyes into my soul qhwn we were wathing season 1. For a related reason, neither of us(my boyfriend and I) will watch Bocchi the rock. I'd say his reasons for refusing to watch it is parallel to mine with Witch.

I didn't watch the second season of Witch and don't intend to. I heard it was bad. A fart in the wind, that's what I liken both seasons of Witch to. I just didn't feel up for it and I didn't want to rewatch the whole thing after I started dating my bf.

So on the matter of Gundam I heard snippets of the new Gundam UC AU coming out. Quunx or whatever. I was almost tempted to go watch it in theaters but I had to host mahjong. I don't think I missed much. I do want to go see Char's Counter Attack in theaters thoughbet.

Let's see ... we wrapped up Ghost in the Shell 2nd gig. Interesting ending and overall interesting series. The Japanese sure were onto something in the 90s to the mid 00s' with anti-american remarks. I think I mentioned Gasaraki in a previous blog post. More of the same political messages there.

We finally watched the Sailor Moon S movie. It was a great one! We're planning on watching the rest eventually.

This anime season is winding down. My Lovely Marriage and Orb are going strong and I'm excited to see how they wrap it all up for each one. Touhai Ura Rate Mahjong... well, it's gonna be a few months at this rate before subs come out. Bummer.

In mahjong news, I had the worse luck imaginable in VRC and in Mahjong soul. I had taken a small mental break from CC to play in Soul and my luck rebounded at least. Here will be a few screenshots when I edit them in after finalizing the text of this.

Slowly but surely escaping the sands of hell.

Oh, I guess one last tale before I sign off. At work last week I had a co-worker tel me a customer complained about me. Bewilidered, I asked why? The customer told her I had an attitude. Again, why? Huh? The reason was I didn't ask how his day was: I was just at a loss for words. She told me she told him it's probably because he works two jobs back there so I don't have the time and the customer was content with the answer; 'fair enough'.

I just want to write AGCT, put it up on KU, and never have to work ever again. Haha. Wouldn't that just be wonderful? Even just getting the 5,000$ DOGE stimmy would just ... be... a ... state of peaceful mind.

Well, if you made it this far congrats.

To be honest, I have no idea when I may write another blog post. Turns out keeping the momentum and having interesting things to say is pretty hard. One way or another it'll be random jong soul screencaps, or Rome1, or Civ3... I don't know.

This markdown edited makes the process so much easier though minus the gripes I have with inserting images into it. it just reads them as links; not images. Oh well.

I've been reading Iliad slower than I want to but I'm a few page turns away from Book 6. So. Many. Names. It would make Legend of the Galctic Heroes blush. To be honest, I'm not used to reading Greek literature. Up to high school, they teach you mainly English literature like Shakespeare; Canterbury Tales. Gatbsy. But Homer? No way hose.

Anyways, till next time. So long space cowboy. Keep it frosty.

Post-blog update: One thing I found interesting about CC. It was only shy 6-7 years before AI/chatGPT/GPT-# took off around 2020~2023. It's scary and morbid how far, aruguably, it predicted. Let me put it this way: Imagine in VR Chat or a MMORPG of your choice (Say—WoW. Black Desert Online. Mabinogi. FF14. There's another YOU running around. In this day and age when we're all too willing to give out personal data ... it's kinda eerily another you—a artifical you but you down to your speech and mannerism—is living its life out in a digital server somewhere.

In a bizarre way the developers predicted the future. AI has come a long way since 2017. I wonder if one day we'll see artificial ai versions on ourself on the web and in games one day? Some food for thought. Ja neeee~.

Does Earth's Gravity weigh down the human soul?

3/3/2025

Well, the rest of February was painful one way or another.

Painful in the physical sense. One I tried to troop through at fierst but it was just too extrunciating. I won't go into detail what it was exactly to spare you the eye bleach, just know the American healthcare system and insurance (or lack thereof) is pitiful and instead of me cringing in utter pain it's now my wallet that wimpers.

It's the sort of pain to make you geniunely wonder between the episodes: why me, God? What have I done to deserve this? I'm not religious by any means. I consider myself agnostic. It was extremely painful. Enough of this now thoughbet.

The physical pain aside, I experienced more of the usual genuine pain in CrossCode.

I don't like when devs are sadistic. I really don't. The longer they act sadistic, the more I start to hate their love and joy(the game that is). This extends to modders too—I stopped playing Beat Saber because of sadistic map makers.

I did not particularly enjoy the desert dungeon too much.

At this writing I'm up to ... chapter 8. Just outside the two temples in the Gaia Garden. I've been progressing so fast (when I wasn't in pain, and even so) I feel conflicted about posting it on the blog here. I try to remember to take screencaps whenever I can, and I can't help but notice the blog loads images slowly. Bummer. I swapped out of the vr chat pngs and made them jpgs so hopefully that might solve a part of the issue? Most of the CrossCode images are still png. I think they may be the culprit.

Well, my issues with sadism aside, I'm still loving the rest of the game. The combat, the story, the dymanic between the characters. The puzzles haven't detracted from them one bit. The story ... man, it's good. It's gut-wrenching. It caught me off-guard.

I cried.

Here too. I'm a sucker for character drama. Emilie is such a sweet heart. I enjoyed the other party members too; they grow on me. I forgot the green hair guy's name but he's cute. I appreciate him like the nerd emoji sciene guy. Genuine funess.

Very true.

This shot reminded me of Dangan Ronpa when Nagi sees the school for the first time. I wonder if it was a homage? I wouldn't put it past them if it's the case; it's a very nice shot.

I think by next blog post I will have finished what is essentially the last game on my gaming backlog. Then maybe I'll give OG Rome1 a try. Or Civ 3. I haven't decided yet. Of coures I still plan on reading Iliad more. I'm already up to book 5; the first glimpses of Homer describing death in combat. Fasincating stuff.

I did make some adequate progress on the rough draft outline for A Game of Cosmic Titans. There's the old saying where art is rooted in pain. Maybe there's truth to it, but artistic expression is also born from delight amongst other feelings too, it's all about the human experience. Well, in any case it's coming along nicely. Then I can resume writing the rough draft with a solid base now.

I've also drummed up a blurb for the short story that's to accompany it—or more like a introduction to the universe since AGCT is a spirtual successor to Saga of the Cosmic Heroes. I haven't decided on a tentative tile yet. Originally, it was called Point Zeta. Then I toyed with the idea of Turn ∀ Žeta. No idea about the accented Z at this time. I was also considering the title "Flashpoint Zeta".

So anyway the blurb:

983 UC. The tide has turned. The Imperium's Fourth Chevauchee into the Confederacy of Independent Systems has ended in unmitigated disaster. The Imperium, trapped in a bubble of byzantine squabbling, scrambles to reorganize what remains of its theater forces in the face of an impending counteroffensive, though incompetent civilian-military leadership plagues the Confederacy all the same.

Before long, confederate long-range scouter droids discover the last hidden stronghold remaining in the Confederate cantons: the icy planet of Zeta. Confederate high command acts swift in assembling a strike team ahead of the main naval force. One such member is Victoria Schwarzenberger, an ace Mobile Trooper pilot and a 'Newtype'; a proposed term for an emergence in human evolution who has increased spacial awareness and latent esper abilities owing to humanity colonizing the Orion and Sagittarius Arms for most of the millennia.

As Victoria and her team descend onto the unfolding flashpoint, the stage is set for the beginning of the end of the hundred-and-fifty-year galactic war between the two entities.

I think by next blog update I'll upload whatever documents of my earlier creative writing ventures from before 2018. Most of them are unfinished or one-shots. I hope if I'm lucky enough to start writing on TAZ I can post it here, too. It won't be a long storty at all. A short novel, maybe even less. No more than 30,000 words if I have to estimate. And, I think, it would do good to show off what I'm capable of with writing now.

Well ... compared to Cosmic Saga, it won't be much, but at least I'll be able to post it publicly online unlike AGCT since I absolutely do want to publish it, and if I do something like Kindle Unlimited I won't be able to post 90% of it(AGCT) anyway. Well, that's a long way off still.

Moving on. In the anime sphere of things we're winding down on "Orb: On the Movements of the Earth" and "My Happy Marriage Season 2". Both have been solid thus far. The mahjong anime, Touhai Ura Rate is hardcore; but subs for it are starting to look uncertain which is unfortunte. Non-airing stuff I just showed my boyfriend War in the Pocket and for me, 11 years later it's still fantastic. We watched the 1st episode of 08th Team and it was solid. I can hardly wait to show him 0083 and the rest of the GUNDAMNS.

Until next time. So long, space cowboy

Like I Could Care Less (That Means You Do Care)

2/21/2025

Ohhhhhhh. Booooooyyyyyy.

Been playing with FF11 some more with friends. We made some good progress thru story events and other things. There were some miscommunication along the way.

Oops. All was good though.

CrossCode!

Good progress for the most part. I finished up most of the sidequests in the Bergen area, getting what chests I could. Then it was moving on to the next area. I didn't particularly feel like exploring on my own this time: it was becoming a little too much keeping track of all these puzzles. I am getting more convinced puzzles are the weakest part of the game—but they CAN be fun to figure out. Maroon Valley did not largely fall into that category.

This little bug arena was challenging but I didn't get past the optional second wave quest. It sure was a adrenline rush thoughbet. I gave up and moved on after a few trys.

Emilie grows on me. She's adorable.

A nice little homeage.

Some of these puzzle rooms are getting annoying. But it felt nice once you do figure them out, like this one. I don't appreciate backtracking in these thoughbet and it is incredibly annoying when you get doors you can't access yet. I don't know if I can be bothered coming back here for it.

So ... moving on. I watched the Weird Al 2022 movie and the Fast and the Furious since me and my bf have been meaning to for a while. They were both great. We also watched the 0079 movilie trilogy. Wow, what a series!

It still holds up to this day. I have a tinge of regret I didn't show him the TV series: because by cutting out the filler you also cut out tons of character development and reactions to character deaths (we also pointed out FMA did this too, it is what it is).

now with 0079 out of the way it's finally time to show Sunrise kino. I showed him the 1st episode of War in the Pocket. I noticed it had a English dub, so I'm giving it a chance. We only watch the first episode so far because I wanted to give GITS s2 some love too. We meant to watch the Sailor Moon S movie but it had the wrong subtrack. Oops.

I found out about Drawn Together, a cartoon from Comedy Central in the mid 2000s'. It's a pretty capvitating little show! Number 5's VA from Kids Next Door was in it and I think Bubble's from Powerpuff Girls. Timeless parody show. Enjoying it so far. Good way to ruin your childhood as you knew it.

Been contemplating a design for the domain. More of a concept: Windows 98 splashscreen with PS1 startup noise but instead of the windows design it'd be a mulberry tree, then you'd click enter and it takes you to a XP desktop. It's a overwhelming concept and I got ahold of one such template, but I'm not sure I can pull it off.

Been slacking off on adding my fictions to the workshop page. I didn't have the freetime this week to do it but I think I will do it soon.

Reading wise, chipping away at Iliad whenever I get the chance. Writing-wise, haven't had the time this week. Will probably outline more in the wagie.

Cha-cha for now. But before you skiddadle, some charming advice from Lala and Amuro.

Hey Mr Dandy! Hey Mr Joy!

2/16/2025

It's been a great week. I hope everyone who bothers to read this has or had a good one too.

Let's start off with the website! I think I have a solid foundation for it now. I'm happy with the way it's all come out so far. The only thing left to chisel away at is the workshop typewriter page. Right now its pretty damn mopey and I want to just throw in some of the past little flash fictions I've done in the past and a simple link to the Cosmic Saga page on Royal Road. Boy, for someone who sure hates his own work I sure can't help but bring it up, can I?

I had a good Valentines. At the mahjong battlefield table I played 5 hanchans (essentially in leyman terms 5 full South games) and won all of them in first place. One of them I had over 60k points. That was nice. I rarely achieve this feat.

[Boris voice] Very nice!

My boyfriend also won that 6th hanchan, robbing me of first. But I love him all the same.

Saturday:, I usually work this morning shift. But I requested the day off to go to a social friends by friend event—best I can describe it as a musical chairs where the machine god pairs you at random with one other person for 5 minutes. I've been doing these for nearly as long as they've been hosted (nearly 6 years?) and always dropped the ball and the spaghaetti one way or another. Being apologetic, kawtowing for my past sins, rapid-fire questions my pairing mate has to mentally juggle. It was lame on my part.

This year I did it right for once. I'm relieved it went well. Though, I didn't bother going to the last portion with fellow american players(I mostly hang out english-speaking Europeans) beacuse I was too overwhelmed and simply I was socially dead. Tired.

So I logged off to play Cross Code for a bit to recharge my stuff and recharge socially. I finished the rest of the dungeon. The boss was such a cakewalk compared to the puzzles. Disappointing.

Yup. You could defintely say that again!

I backtracked a little to find all these locked chests. It was fun but frustrating trying to chart the paths you're suppose to take to get to some of them. Then I got to the penguin cave.

Seriously?

Seriously? Not pictured because I was too frustrated to remember to screencap and I am not going back for the sake of it: a simple locked chest you can't access after painstakingly platforming to it. This game is starting to give me PTSD playing Shantae.

This boss fight was cool at least. A rapping penguin where you fight the audience. Very cool.

I'd check out the VRC social tab to see how the instances are going—only to find out both were capped. Bummer. Easy excuse to play Cross Code a little more.

Fast forwarding to now. I had the usual tramatizing day at work. A lot of customers wished me well at work, a lot more than usual actually. I found it sort of peculiar. In between customers I was working on my draft's outline—the Cosmic Saga spiritual rewrite. Right now its title is tentative 'A Game of Cosmic Titans' or just abbv it to AGCT. I've been attempting to do this more—it's oddly therapeutic. Maybe I got too emotional doing so. They say write what you know ... but what if all I know is sorrow?

I think I've had some good luck chiseling away at the outline. I've been neglectful of the draft itself to focus on it. And I justify it since I stopped at a point where I needed to outline anyway. In the past, I used to pants write given the nature of weekly serial writing; something I did nearly every week for 4 years, though in reality it was more like 2 1/2 because my one-month recharge hiatus turned into a 2 1/2 year one. It's easy to look at it in retrospect and say, yeah. I was defintely lying to myself and the readers. I axed it to come to peace with that fact. I still can't come to peace with it.

I can't give up on the story even though I've accepted I matured faster than I was writing it. There are times you need to learn the attitude of the knife and cut off what's incomplete and say it's finished, because it ended there. I did that—I like to think I did. But this story just means a lot to me ... and sometimes as an author, as the creator, that's a bad thing. You need to separate yourself from your darling, from your works. But it's my baby. I can't give up my baby after all.

I lean back on my chair and glance at my spartan bookcase—Frank's Dune saga. The Odyessy, Stranger in a Strange Land. Rendezvous with Rama. How did they do it? They're gods in my eyes and I feel like I let them down because I stumble and caterpillar crawl their paths and I can't live up to them.

Okay. That's enough being melodramatic for now. The outline, I think, is coming along nicely and for the present that's what only matters. To be honest, I'm reluctant to talk about the outline or the draft too much. And believe me, I want to post progress on it but it's not always a good idea. To paraphrase Frank: "the energy I could be spent talking about my work in progress is energy I could be spending writing the story itself". But ... it feels good not to be cooped up in my mind prision with it. I want to come down from the mountain and talk about it.

Alright, I really gotta wrap this up now. Last but not least valentine messages from my mahjong waifus. I nearly forgot to check it before a friend in the Mahjong instance on Valentines mentioned it.

Bonus: a drawing someone did of my avatar at the friend by friend thing.

So long, space cowboy.

Is This Thing On?

2/13/2025

I tell myself with each passing year; "this year will be different. This is the year I improve my wellbeing and be a better person, this time for sure!" and as romantic as that sounded I was blunted with several roadblocks. My PSU an hero'd and I had a genuine fear I lost everything—this was back in mid January. About the week of the 20th. I had just gotten on VR Chat when all I hear is a loud POP!. Pitch bladkness in my room; no source of light from my PC.

Luckily, no such incident came to be and only the PSU was knocked out. But boy was it a painful and grueling week going around researching what I needed and boy oh boy was it a nightmare getting the right solutions for this surprsingly acute pickle I found myself in.

In any case, the situation was resolved—but it was just issue after issue getting all the cables plugged in and I learned a hard lesson with professional prebuilt PCs (OriginPC especially) they're too professional. Professional overkill. I was so nervous having to cut the little bits holding cables in place. It was a nightmare even unscrewing the little case which held the busted PSU in. New thermal paste, figuring out what new pin went there ... I made only one PC myself and that was back in 2012. 2014. Never again I told myself.

After that whole ordeal ended my boyfriend got banned for a week less than a week later in VR Chat so we got to spend more time in FF11 and Fortnite.

Playing with them is always a fun experience.

January was over before I knew it. I decided to cold turkey vaping starting the 1st because I feel my tolerance was getting too high. I vaped for the first time a few days ago when I started playing CrossCodes and I think it helped. I also stopped vaping because I found out I lost some 10-15 pounds(4kg) and I weighed 105 pounds (47kg).

Yeah.

I needed a change in diet so I laid off that and started eating rice/veggies and rotating it with noodles every few days. My eating habit is horrible and it's one of the ways I coped with stress, and the vaping was likely counterbalancing that. I like to think I'm making good process fixing my diet now thoughbet.

Ah yes, CrossCodes.

7 years ago I first started up CrossCodes right after playing Senran Kagura Estival Versus because it was in my sights for a while. I had saved right before you go down to the bridge and talk to the captain. I exited the game and told myself I'd play it another day ... and I just simply never did. It wasn't because I didn't like the game or anything I geniunely just had a lot going on at tha time. And before I knew it, time flew by. A whole seven years before I sat down and played it again. And boy is it fun.

I got as far as the miner puzzle games before I got puzzled though. Up to this point of the game it had good combat, good natural progression, it was great. Then the puzzles hit you in the face and I see now why nobody talks about this game anymore. They're the weakest part of the game so far. I'm still determined to finish this because this is practically the only game on my backlog left. After that, I want to write and read more.

CrossCodes aside, after I finish it I may start a first-time playthrough of Rome1 or Civ3 but that's a post for another day.

On the anime side of things, I bing watched the second season of SAO Gungale Online 2. Coindentically it was also nearly 8 years since I watcehed the first season. I was putting it off as it aired but I was glad to revisit it and the characters after so long.

And as soon as it came back it's gone again. At least until another 8 years. Lol.

Moving on with anime, I'm excited to be able to show my boyfriend Gundam Universal Century anime. Specifically I'm showing him the compliation movies because plowing through more than 100 episodes and even getting ahold of them would be difficult. It'll be new for me too since I haven't visit the series since 2014 and I haven't seen the movies myself. Only downside is ZZ never got movies so it's the only ones I'll have to look for and show him one day. Similiarly we're going to dive into VOTOMS which neither of us have seen; and I want to show him Samurai Flamenco and Higurashi, as well as Nekomonogatari and the rest of Shaft's adaptations of Nishi's series.

Well. That's it for now. Oh. We finished Gasaraki recently and it amused us both the Japanese were right on the mark about trade war with US ... it just wasn't them, it was the Chinese. And it was way ahead of its time predicting the hyperinflation the US is experiencing right now this very moment. Fasincating series but it failed to endure the test of time and ultimately failed to gain meaniginful traction and competition to Gainax's Evangelion.

I'm reaching the point where there's nothing particularly else interesting else to ramble about. This post got bigger than expected. I will figure out a autoscroller one day—not that anyone will read any of this and that's perfectly fine. Though, it would be interesting to set up a counter and a guestbook/chatbox I see often on other neocity domains.

Until then ... so long, space cowboy.